Last week I was having a conversation with a woman at my job. She said she’d done some things she wasn’t proud of and she believed everything happening in her life right now was payback for those missteps.
She thought she was doomed to have a bad life because of the choices she made and things she had done in the past – even though she was doing her best to live life better and differently.
Do you feel that way? Do you feel like your prayers are no match for your past? Like God is sitting on the throne but there’s no room for you?
I used to struggle with all of this. I felt like I was never going to be good enough. I believed God was good but I also believed he hated sin and that my sins disqualified me from the life He had designed for me.
I was a perfectionist – I tried to do or say the right thing at all times. Unfortunately, as you can imagine, I always fell short and I’d beat myself up for not doing or saying the right thing. Having learned this about myself, I’ve been actively trying to fight this so I can be the very best whole-hearted version of myself – free from guilt, shame and unworthiness.
Our Heavenly Father didn’t put us on this earth to live with fear, doubt, unbelief, or shame. He didn’t put us here to walk around with our heads down expecting the worst. That’s not why Jesus died for our sins.
Forgive yourself. Perfection is the enemy of good and God is good so be like Him.
It’s really the best thing you can do. If you need to apologize to someone, do so. If you could’ve done or said things differently, make a mental note for the next time. But please, don’t beat yourself up with negative thoughts. You’re with you all the time, if you’re beating yourself up, who’s going to protect you? Who’s going to show you love?
God thinks highly of you. We all fall short but there’s redemption. Take some time to read what His Word says about you. He loves you and He forgives you. Most importantly, He has an incredible plan for your life and guess what? That plan doesn’t include self-destruction. It includes healing, restoration, and all the good things He has stored up for you.
So do yourself a favor and forgive yourself. God’s already forgiven you.