In books I’ve read in the past and especially in the one I’m reading now, I’ve realized your mate is your purpose partner.

Whenever I meet someone I think about how the joining of our lives could impact the world. What could our joint purpose be? What can we do together? What world issues could our partnership conquer, solve, or impact?

This may seem deep but this kind of question adds a little more to the choosing process. It’s a more intentional way of dating.

Sometimes the purpose is to serve – whether it’s serving the homeless, serving at a church, or creating a solution that serves others, there’s a joint purpose. The marriage itself and the impact it has on others could be the purpose. There could also be a business you two will start or a cause you’ll choose to support.

A friend of mine and her husband, prior to marrying, spent a lot of time serving in the church. They actually met at a church function and continue to serve at their church as husband and wife. Maybe you both have a passion for education so you decide to found an educational organization like The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

I saw an instagram post on Ayesha Curry’s page recently and she and Steph Curry founded a non-profit called Eat Learn Play. They both have their individual purposes and have also partnered to support children and families in the Bay Area.

It’s through asking questions that you gain greater clarity about your partner or potential mate. If you really want to know what you’re partnership could produce, you have to ask.

While a joint purpose may not be clear in the beginning, it’s important for each person to have or know his or her own purpose.  Ideally, each person would know what their purpose is or be actively seeking clarity around it.

I’ve asked and been asked, in the early stages of dating, “what’s your purpose?.” And I’ve been met with an answer or an “I don’t know.” Some of the same guys who said they didn’t know their purpose said they’d support me with mine.

It’s an important question to ask so you know how that person sees their life playing out. That way, you can decide if your lives can work together.

What kinds of questions are you asking future mates? Are there any critical questions you need answers to? Can you see yourself building a life with them? Having a joint purpose while also pursuing your own?

It’s a deep dive, I know. But it’s worth it to get answers in the early stages of dating and be honest with yourself. Answers to these questions could provide greater clarity and move you towards your forever.

Happy Waiting

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