Yesterday I had conversations with two different people about what it’s like to be single during the holidays.

Both discussions were centered around companionship or a lack-thereof. After spending many holidays single and even alone, I’ve managed to come up with some ways that have helped me get through and even enjoy the holidays.

Here’s what I’ve done that has worked for me…

On Thanksgiving I usually visit my aunt’s house. I think they know not to ask too many questions so it’s a pretty safe place for me. I don’t have to pass the green beans and talk about my love life. I really appreciate that.

I used to go home for Christmas every year but I prefer to do Christmas my way. I put my Christmas tree up, get cute Christmas pajamas, decide what I want to eat and do on that day, buy myself gifts and put any other gifts I get under my tree. Then, on Christmas day, I’d open my gifts! My first year doing this I had a bunch of gifts! Since then, there has been less and less under the tree but I always get something for myself. This year I’m getting a facial steamer!

New Years Eve is tricky. If you like to go out and can do so with friends GO! When I felt up to it I would go out and other times I stayed home. One year I had a NYE party and another time I invited a friend over. There were some lonely NYEs but I’ve learned to just go with it. It’s only a day.

Valentines Day

I have two Valentines Day blog posts. You can find one of them here.

On most Valentines Days I’ve eaten a bowl of ice cream with all of my favorite toppings and oftentimes I was content with this. One V-Day in particular I asked some of my other single girlfriends to come over and we ate…ice cream and watched a movie.  I’ve had some days when I ran home so I didn’t have to see all of the couples holding hands and looking in love. There were some lonely times but again, it’s only a day!

Some holidays are easier than others but if there’s anything I want you to get from this it’s to do what you want to do. Write a list of the things that make you happy and on those days, find a way to do one or more of those things.

Come up with a canned response to anyone who is trying to check your singleness. My favorite is – I’m waiting on Jesus! People don’t usually argue with that. Also, let folks know you’ll let them know when there’s something they need to know. And if people can’t respect your boundaries, limit your time with them – friends, family and the like.

Any and everyone can get put on time restriction if they question me up and down about my singleness. ANY AND EVERYONE!

So the point is  – do what makes you happy! To do that, you have to know what makes you happy. Get quiet, get still, and really get to know you so when these moments – these holidays come up, you’ll know what to do to set boundaries with those around you, maintain your happiness and have JOY!

Be blessed. Happy Holidays.

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