One of the most courageous things I’ve ever done is allow myself to feel.
I used to be the queen of suppressing my feelings but now more than ever, I’m allowing my feelings to flow. If I need to cry, I cry.
I’d literally be sitting in traffic, feel like crying and wouldn’t. I’d hold it in and never really let it out. I thought I had to be strong all of the time but now I realize there’s strength in vulnerability. There’s strength in tears. Crying takes courage. I now have the courage to cry.
Over time God softened my heart, and now I’m more open but also more susceptible to heartache.
God’s Word says to guard your heart because everything you do flows from it but at times it can be hard to find the balance. How do you guard your heart and be open at the same time? That’s a question we all have to answer for ourselves.
When you hold things in and keep them locked away, it paralyzes you. Don’t put yourself in a straitjacket.
I’m not saying go out and curse everyone out. What I am saying is allow yourself to feel, and then check in with yourself and self-soothe.
Last year while working with a therapist she told me, in so many words, that I needed to stop forging ahead without talking to myself about how I was feeling. She even suggested I talk to “Little Tiffani”.
I thought it was ridiculous at the time but now I actually practice what she preached. It sounds something like this (picture me crying and saying to myself ), “I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry. This didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to and that’s ok. It’s ok to cry.”
It also sounds like, “You did your best and that’s enough.”
The reality is…we can’t stop things from happening but we can stop suppressing our feelings and allow them to flow.
If we let what’s in us flow out of and through us in a healthy way, we can emerge stronger and better.
Let’s get better and stronger together.