I am guilty of ignoring all of the blessings God has given me because I wanted God to do one thing. I’ll have moments when I’ll forget all He’s done because He hasn’t done that one thing!

Luckily, when I was content to stay in my own sunken place – drowning and no longer able to see the good God has done – my friends held up a mirror so that I could see.

I don’t like feeling this way but I know it’s normal and I know I’m not the only one. I believe it’s the same reason why someone can have all the money in the world and be miserable.

I pray and still pray for healing for my mother. I’m even tearing up as I type this – but over the years things have gotten both better and worse and I feel like I’m moving through the grief stages into one of acceptance.

I really wanted God to do that one thing. But I also wanted Him to do it my way. I wanted Him to do it without hurt and suffering, and without changing both of us in the process but God thought otherwise.

It’s crazy how we ask God for one thing – one way – and instead he does one hundred things, one hundred ways. And still it seems like it’s not enough because it’s not the one thing we’ve been praying for.

What’s the one thing you want God to do? What has He done in the meantime, instead?

I don’t have any answers for any of this. My goal is to wake up feeling better because my one thing – and really, it’s more than one thing – I want God to do, that He’s not doing my way, and in my time… is getting me down. And I’m going to cry about it and that’s ok.

Love,

TiffaniJane

For everyone who knows me personally, I wrote this post on 9/22. I’m better now.

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